advice wanted -- teeth

Well, I told you I'd tell you when I wanted advice!!

As I posted recently, Jacob needs to have a couple of cavities filled. We went back to the dentist today to have his 6 year molars sealed, and for the dentist to experiment around a little with what he can and can't get away with. It was a good visit -- I heard a slew of "good boy, Jacob"s coming from the back (which always makes me cringe a little -- I really should do a post about praise and how detrimental it is to a kid's development -- but my attitude at the dentist's office is WHATEVER WORKS, DO IT!), and both the dentist and hygeinist gave him a glowing report, and Jacob himself told me he had fun. (FUN?! How the heck is getting your mouth propped open and a gooey substance painted on your teeth fun?) The dentist said that he's fairly confident that he can get the cavities filled in the office, and wanted me to set up the first of the two appointments (he can't do them both at once, as they are in two different parts of his mouth, requiring numbing him in two locations). So I swallowed hard and set it up for later this month.

Then he presented me with the choice that has me stymied. Shall he fill them with amalgam (the old standard "silver" fillings), or composite? I hadn't even thought ahead to having to make this choice, I had just assumed we'd do composite. He strongly reccommends amalgam -- it means less time in the chair for Jacob, less drilling and grinding needed, he just sticks it in there, grinds it off, and he's done. With composite, there's layering, drying, lots of additional grinding and polishing -- up to 10 extra minutes of torture (it's a 1/2 hour appointment, so we're talking either 20 minutes or 30 minutes). He pointed out that these are teeth that will be falling out when he's 10-12 years old anyway.

In case any of you have been living under a rock for the past 15 years and wonder why I'm so concerned about this, amalgam has mercury in it, and mercury is implicated (strongly) in the development of Autism. Does it make any sense whatsoever to purposely put mercury into an Autistic kid's head??

Well, as it turns out, there's a pretty good argument in it's favor. First, the danger with the amalgam fillings comes when they get old and start to deteriorate, leaching the mercury from them. (Until that point, the mercury is locked within a solid.) These fillings won't get a chance to get old, they'll be out of his head when he loses those teeth, at most 6 years from now. (The silver fillings I had removed recently were in excess of 25 years old!) Second, it means increasing the likelihood that the fillings will actually get done. Third, it means potentially decreasing the amount of trauma Jacob has to endure in that chair. Fourth, it's less expensive (but that's a far distant fourth -- the cost isn't THAT much more for the composite, and even if it were, I wouldn't hesitate to use that instead if it were the right choice).

But still, despite all that, you can't deny the fact that I would be purposely choosing to expose my son, my AUTISTIC son, to mercury. A poison by any definition. Something I purposely choose to avoid (and just spent a small fortune that I don't even have to eliminate from my own mouth). Something that I never in a million years would have imagined myself considering.

But the trauma of all that extra dental work when I could make it simpler for him....

And ultimately, getting the cavities filled is the most important part.

So here it comes -- HELP!!!!!! What should I do? What would YOU do? I'm sure others have been in this boat, what have you done? I welcome any and all perspectives on this, just click on the "comments" link at the bottom of this post, then type your comments in the box, either sign in or click the "anonymous" button, and retype the code it gives you (to prevent spam -- my gosh, the best invention EVER!).

THANK YOU so much!